mindful blogs

february 2020 | lucy sheridan

 

lucy sheridan | mental health mates blog
lucy sheridan

The job promotions, holidays, family developments, house renovations, health breakthroughs… you name it, there are many and varied ways we can be distracted by what’s going on with other people’s lives. So, how can we reclaim our focus and gain the confidence to stay in our own lane this year, and dissolve our comparison? Here are some starting points to set you up for success…


Notice what you notice | Your comparison is trying to reveal a hidden jewel of insight to you - a bit like that vintage favourite game show, The Crystal Maze, your assignment is to retrieve your crystal. To help with this, notice what you notice. For example, if your comparison is triggered when you see someone off on holiday again, what does this tell you about your need to travel? How are you serving that?


Go with the flow | Achieving your own version of happiness does not have to be a straight path or happen overnight – and thank goodness - because this means you can spend time figuring out what works best for you. The most important question you need to answer to progress at a pace that’s right for you is “What’s my next right step?”. Keep repeating and answering that question and you will transform your life.


Check your environment | Comparison thrives when we feel isolated or unsupported. Jim Rohn wrote ‘you are the average of the five people you spend the most time with’ so, excluding perhaps your own children, who are the people that you would choose to associate with more? The ones that lift you up, challenge you in all the right ways and inspire you crack on in your own way? Seek them out and stick to them and reduce time with people that don’t make you feel good.


Be you. Always | Where are you acting like a copy cap or ‘tribute act’ to other people? A tribute band can look and sound the same as the original act but just like Bjorn Again resemble ABBA, they are never going to be the real thing! With that said, how does your comparison influence your thoughts, actions and behaviour? If you find yourself doing, saying or posting something because you think you should rather than because it comes naturally then that’s an area for attention


Don’t overlook what you can leverage | The oak tree lives within the acorn. You are capable, resourceful, smart and persistent even if you don’t feel it every day. Your comparison doesn’t want you to know that though - how can it survive if you are thriving? Take the time you need to look at what you have, tally up your experiences and skills, discover the gaps and questions that might exist so you can address them. There is always a starting point to leverage.


Be kind and compassionate – always | You are somebody’s comparison trigger. Yes, even with all your flaws, mistakes and imperfections, you as you are right now are keeping someone awake at night. It might be you are a historical comparison from when you were at school or it might be a stranger on the internet that doesn’t actually know you… think about who you compare yourself to, yep, it works both ways. So, be kind always – we are all finding our way.


Be committed to what’s true for you | 'Cool' is a made up thing.
'Popular' is a made up thing.
'On trend' is a made up thing.
Numbers on social media denoting value or influence is a made up thing.
What's the 'next big thing' on the internet is a made up thing.
But you know what's REAL? You. Your dream. Your life vision. Your resourcefulness. Your abilities. Your pathway. Your story. So, do what you can to connect with that real truth today - YOUR real truth?
Every time you compare yourself to someone else you miss a chance to back yourself so let’s call time on comparison and stay in our own lane this year.


find lucy on instagram + twitter @lucysheridan


 

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